Fly Like Paper

Get high like planes..
Nah I haven't been getting high...
But I've had the SAME boyfriend since The day after homecoming and it's had it's up and downs..

But it's been absolute bliss.
I love him to death.


..... do us part :P


Uhh yeah. I got accepted into TWU.
NURSEEEE ERIN. :)


Ummm yeah pretty much just trying to hold everything down right now.
Living and loving lifeeee.
Amen. Night!

Omg! Poor Blog.

I haven't written in over a freakin monthhh!


Homecoming's tonight! I'm excited. I've got my date, my friends... Lost some friends. Gained some. Been through a bunchhhhhh. I'm doing me and that's all that's matters!

She's No Youuu!

HAHA. Mabael has the longest tongue I've ever seeeeen beforeee.
I <3 him.

Even though I have a boyfriendddd.
Christiannnn<3

He's really great. We'll see about homecoming though. I'd think we'll stay together that long lol.
He's been saying he "L-Word's" me.
Whaaaat? I Knowwww right?

Anyways.... school and work and Theatre is HARDDD. Omg who the hell told me to do all of this at the same time?

:\

Anyways nightnight!

BoomCAT

Lol...

Worked todayyy 9-3 ish.
Came home and laid my ass downnn.

I was tired from hanging out at Bob Woodruff and in the parking lot w/ Christian. He's an interesting boyyy.
I wish he'd just ask me out though. And stop second guessing everything.

Hm!
And I officially realize, it doesn't matter whether I feel left out or not... it's not going to change anything... so I might as well stop caring that I don't get invited everywhere with Briana and Leah.
I just want to do the same thing back to them. I already got Leah that day at lunch.. she wanted to come..
Hmmmm.

Mickey Avalon

Call me Mister Rightttt.

Briana got into a car accident. With some random indian lady. She's upset. Of course. I knew whenever she got into an accident it would be when I wasn't with her.
Hm. But she and Leah are okay! Sooo goood goood!
Next subject...
Christian.
I likeeeeee him. We kissed last night. For a little while.
I like him alott.
NEXT.
School.
It's funnn. Haha very entertaining. Feels like I never left. Apparently I got meaner.
It's whateverrr. They still love me. ALMOST all of the whole group is together. Minus Shamaya and Sarah!
How depressing.
:*(
WORK!
Is difficult.... but sometimes fun and should be worth it when I get my first check next friday.
I hope I get it next friday.
:) I'm sure I do.. they didnt tell me I wouldn't.
Anyways... going to the park w/ Christian!
Goodnight!

Ugh.

Okay. Yeah I don't have a ride now.
Darnit!
:(

Fall Into A Place That I Dont Think A Child Should Know

And I'm screaming out a name that should never pass my lips.
Poisonnn in my veinnnsss.
:)

School is great( and just started today). Work is work (good cause it's money). I've got a ride home from school! For $50 bi weekly from Dozie!
I'm happy. :D

I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All.

Worrrrrk.
Thank god for Briana Marie cause it's raining cats and dogs.

G.

...L...A...M...O...R...O...U..S

The Glamorous.
:) Flossy Flossy.

Umm the past couple days have been busyyy kinda. Yesterday Pammmm came into town. She came to get me and we're hanging out today as long as I don't work (I doubt I will apparently no schedule til Wednesdays). Got my schedule. It's fineee. NO PHYSICS.
Hell yeahhhhhh. Lol. IPC and Algebra though.
Oh well. WHATEVERRRR.
:) I'll pass. I passed chemistry. I'll just pay better attention.
I'm just excited to get the year over with and PASS.

Night before last I went with that guy JJ that Me Briana and Leah met at TCabana. He's nicee.
Belal''s an ass as always. I'm pretty used to it by now. His ass was like can I come to the hospital and we have sex there? Wtffff?
Yeaah so.... life's good.
And I UPGRADED MY PHONE.
Hopefully I'll get it by Friday-Saturday.
:D

Cold As Cold As Cold Can Be

Into the ocean end it all.

Me and Mariana are fine. She just got busy or whateveerrrr.
It's whatever.
Sooo Orientation tomorrow. After Schedule Pickup. And more damn pictures for my damn ID. And then maybe going to the hospital... I'm not sure. I have to call Renata........................


Hm. Damnit. I should've done that earlier. Oh well.
At leasst I got to get out of the house today and have dinner w/ Briana!

Situation's Unbearable

You're not ready, you're not ready... please stop acting like you are.
Devotion and Desire- Bayside.

Sooooo. Mariana isn't answering my texts or phone calls. And I have no idea why. I did absolutely nothing to that girl. I wish she'd build a fucking bridge sometimes and get the hell over herself and it. Half the time when she's mad at me it's not even that big of a deal. She's sooo damn stubborn. I kind of do want to know what "I did".

Hm.
Whatever. Lol.
I went to meet Edwina or Shannon [or Stephanie as my MOM told me] this morning... and apparently no one bothered to let me know that her schedule had been changed.... so I have to go back between 2 and 3.
Grrreat. Haha and now it's super hot outside. And the sun's back.
:( Today's going to be a good day whether it's started off badly or not.

My Sacrifice.

Creeeeed.

Soooooo I got the McD's job.
Hopefully I can juggle it and school and theatre.
:) Let's pray.

I'm Going To Shoot Myself In The Face If Someone Doesn't Cheer Me Up.

:\

I look sooo fucking good right now, all I'd have to do is change my clothes and I could go out.
I need at least an hour out of this houseee.
Or some really hard liquorrrrr.

Fuck.

Everything right now. I'm in a really bad mood.

Mostly because Belal doesn't reply to ANYTHING I send to him and it's really frustrating. I don't understand why people can't just be civil to other people. If you didn't want anything to do with my after we had sex, then why don't you just fucking say something?
Soooo dumb. So dumb.

And me sitting on my ass in this house is NOT helping.
Not helping at all. Since I'm just keeping my mother company. IF I don't get out of this house for at least an hour tonight I swear I'm going to go crazy.


Fucking crazy.

We Bring Ourselves Down

And shoot down the stars for our enjoyment.

Sooo sexy we are. Soo sexy we are we just don't know it.

Ilgymclassheroes!

Ummm last night wuzzzz interesting. :)
Belal came by and we went to the park.
It was aamazinggggggg.
He's smart! Condoms!

AND I spoke ot Garrett's nice ass friend Anthony. Overall... between 2 and 4 yesterday morning was the highlight of my fucking week.
Besides getting my phone bck.
Lol!

Party Pa Party Party

Where my party people at?

Wowwww "adults" are sooo dumb sometimes. Latoya seriously needs to get a bitch check. She's all in-like with Garrett, who doesn't like her.
She's fucking dumb. At least if I'm having sex with someone I would KNOW that they didn't really like me.
She's in fucking DENIAL.
Bamf.
:)

CrushCrushCrush

If you wanna play it like a game,
Well cmon cmon let's play.
:)

I'm fasting until Thursday.
My body is going to be a little more amazing when I go back to school.

Which by the way I'm a little scared about becauseeeeeeee... Mr Elms emailed all the Techies and auditions for the first play start the week school starts.

Don't they think that's a little overwhelming? Yaaah. I think so. But whatever. I might try to get my mind in order and just try out for Footloose.
We'll see. But I'm going to try and get some hours in when I'm done with classes, etc.

Yeast Infections

This website said pregnant women are prone to yeast infections.....
I'm pretty sure I have one and I DID have unprotected (somewhat) sex with Garrett.

Well the date was July 23rd.

I'm going MIA if I don't get my period in the next week.

Le Disko

I don't hate you...
I just don't exactly like you.


You don't HAVE to like your parents or family. That's something I've learned over the past couple years.
I don't HATE anyone. I just don't like her. She's not fair. So when, IF I even find out that I get this damn job (McDonalds) since she won't let me have my phone to see if they call, I'm getting a phone in MY name. Therefore she CANNOT take it because I pay for it.
There you go. BITCCCHHHH.

I really don't like her. She should've tried harder to not get pregnant if it's soo difficult to have me around. I should just leave.

My Life Is A Black Abyss.

My family's disgusted with me. And I can honestly say I don't give a fuck.
I really don't right now.


Sooo it's whatever.

To my Mom and From my Mom to Me.

Okay... I really need to get this off my chest.
1) I am not you, I won't make the same mistakes.
2) I am 18 and feel like I should get the freedom I deserve because if I don't I won't EVER grow up.

I know what happened whenever you went off and had your fun. Thats why I'm here. But you don't understand (even though for some reason EVERY other adult I know, and even ones that don't know me well, besides Pam sees it) that I'm not a dumb kid. I'm pretty freakin smart, I just don't like to be shut up in the house. That makes me want to break out and just leave. Which of course I've told you I've contemplated before.
When Renata said I could stay with her, she told me her rules.
1 is that she didn't want to come home to unknown people in her house
2 she'd want to know I'm alive most of the time
3 i'd have to have a part time job, etc

And about the job thing, I WAS looking, so I wish you'd stop making me out to be the bad guy that isn't looking for employment.
What happened last night was NOT my fault and I shouldn't be blamed for it. I told you I had nothing to do with it and you even heard him since you spoke to him, he was doing his own damn thing. I told you that. Yet I'm the one being punished. So no, I'm not going to be a happy camper. And no I'm not going to want to talk to you while I'm being punished for something that isn't my fault. Basically, I'm being punished for wanting to be an adult and have fun, because I don't have a car, and because my friend didn't thoroughly understand one o'clock.
So it wasn't my fault. And that's pretty much all I have to say because talking to you wouldn't make any difference whatsoever.

--- On Fri, 8/1/08, Gwendolyn Tyler <gwendolyntyler469@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: Gwendolyn Tyler
Subject: I am through!!!
To: "Erin tyler" <nikki4818@yahoo.com>
Date: Friday, August 1, 2008, 2:20 AM

Erin i want to start this leter of by saying that I love with you with all my heart and soul.. But i am very pissed off at you tonight... i told you when i let you go out tonite I didn't want a repeat of when you went to go see Danity Kane.. But here we are again .. i am up at 2am when i should be sleep getting to get ready for work..Instead I am waiting for you to get hm safely.. Over this summer you have had your fun and not thought about the consequences of your actions when you mess up.. And i have overlooked them so that you wouldn't be mad at me well i am done.. And i don't care whether you get made at me or not.. I know this is your Senior Year and that you are 18!!! But in life there are concesquences to the actions that we do whether it be good or bad.. Anything that I tell you i tell you from the heart and most of the time i have already been through it and i don't want you to go through the same mistakes i had to find out the hard way..

Ahhhh. IDK what to dooo!

Garrett got his car back and wants to go camping tonight...
But he has class and I can't let my mom know that I'm with him for the night.

And she's going to be home soon.
So I really don't know what the fuck to doooo.
:\

I might have to call it off?

Watch If You're Smart.

Lalalalala Warm it up.

I got into trouble. Garrett's mom called mine. I'm 18 like she's said, I'm an adult. So I should pretty much be able to do whatever I want. She should stop retracting that statement whenever she wants because it's not cool.


Nor do I want to hear them fucking. Nasty ass water buffalo.
Honestly, I have nothing else to say. I did NOTHING wrong. I shouldn't be in trouble. I got permission to stay there from his mother. Then she just decides to flip out. Which is no surprise. But still.

I need to smoke. And I want me fucking phone. How the hell am I supposed to communicate with people if I have no cellphone?
My mom should go somewhere and sit her ass down and close her mouth. Cause if I'm grounded for the rest of the summer.... I'm going to tell her to go fuck a duck.

Btw

I tried to say I'd be there... waiting forrr.


I guess I should mention I had unprotected sex with Garrett.. Or sex period.
Yes, I know.. DUMBBASSS. I am. But I didn't know he didn't have a condom on. I really didn't.

It's whatever.. as long as I don't get anything and don't get pregnant. Cause I don't think I'm invincible, etc.
Anyways... tonight! DanityKane at Purgatory. Picturesss etc.

I want him to invite Latoya. That'd be interesting. Since she fucking flipped out from Tuesday-Wednesday. "WHOS ERIN" haha. Funnyyy.

Wowww I just found something me and Garrett recorded... It's pretty funny. It's good that we have a lot of fun together. I guess that would make hanging out pointless if we didn't huh? Definitely.
And it's not just sex. It's more, I hope anyway.
Denton (? I'm still unsure but whatever) to "meet [his] friends (Anthony)" he wants to see what they think of me.
We'll see! I'm excited for life.

I'm The Biggest Boss That You've Seen So Far

Yes, you are Rick Rossss.

Fatass.

Last night waassss funnnnn.

Tomorrow through Friday.

• Up Early
• Surgery
• Drive gma home
• Sleep
• Purgatory
• Yantis to move stuff
• Denton?
  

Boss

I'm the biggest boss that you've seen thus far!


:)
Sunday I went with Caleb and his fucking amazing gorgeous brother and his bro's dumbass mexican friend.
It was extremely gay.

I was supposed to hang out with Garrett last night, but he lost his phone and ENDED up knocking on my door asking for me and my mom answered, etc. I was pretty mad and frustrated with the both of them. I thought he was mad at me, but I was like wtf.
Haha.

But yeah he IMed me on facebook IM. We're hanging out tonight. And then Thursday night at Purgatory.
Buttt he spent some of yesterday and Sunday night with Latoya.
Ewwwie right? I'm pretty sure he spent the night. They fucked. I know they did. Sooo that's another week tacked on to him not getting anything from me. I can just image potentially like.....
EWWWW. What if I didn't know that and gave him head or something? Thats horrible.
:(!

Rotfl. Ewwww.
I'm saving this and getting off cause thats gross.

Oh Baby! Why won't you talk to me?

Oh baby! You don't say anything! Oh baby Why don't you answer meeeeeeeh? LOL.

Haha..... this song is crazy.

Along with my night. Hahaaaa. The party was funnn. There were awkward times of course, but it's whatever. That's going to happen with someone that you just meet I guess.
We held hands on the car ride to Aaron's and on the ride to his house. But later in the morning it got really weird. He got kinda mad and then I got kinda upset. I even kind of cried a little when I got inside... so...

Yeah.. Whatever. I had a fucking good time. :) And we're probably going to hang out this week. I think he wanted to go to college night on Tuesday or Thursday and go back to Denton next weekend... but there might not be a party.. so it's whatever.

Rock n Roll Baby Don't You Know?

We're all alone now, I need something to sing about.
:)

Last night was sooooo fucking interesting.
Garrett's a good guy. His mom's crazy. And his friend Anthony is good at making my confidence rise.
Haha.

SWEET TANGERINEEEEE.
We went to eat at Olive Garden... and had a short stint at Target... and went back to eat because they told us it would take 45 minutes for us to be seated lol.. it took like 15 minutes.
We went to his casa. His mom went crazy on us because "you shouldn't meet people on facebook and bring them home". Apparently it's dangerous.
Cause I'm totally going to overpower him and kill him right? Haha. Whatever.
We got P-V and leftttt and went downtowwwnnn.
Took foreverrrr to find somewhere to park and went to purgatory. I forgot guys have to be 21 to get innn. Gay right? I know.
So we walked around downtown. Met some interesting and nice people! Gave hobos money, etc.
Drove around a little downtown and then headed back to Frisco. Went to a park and then to his friend Anthony's house... Got stopped by Police! I was skerred. But the officer was nice.
Got hit on by Anthony... and then listened to them argue about where to go. Anthony didn't want to go back to Garrett's house because the night before his mom flipped out on him too lol.
So we dropped him back off and went to Garrett's. We snuck in without his mother waking up etc. And watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. It was horrible lol but good.
And then we headed to my house. It's like four thirty by now. He explained how he liked me more than Latoya but she's closer in vicinity or whatever. But texted me when I got home about how he wanted to try anyways.........
Sooo I guess.... we'll see how tonight goes!

Firing, Flaming, Colors Surround Me

I'm always wondering where you are..
Darlingg shouldn't I be the oneee wondering after all, I'm the one who is gone.

I was just wondering.

I'm hungry. But scared to eat. Because I dont want to be nauseous or have to poop again. :(

How sad.
I want pizza. And cinnasticks.

But that's not going to happen.

Blah!

I'm sick.
She poisoned me.
Haha jk...
Idk but I'm pretty sure that chicken I ate has like given me food poisoning. I should've stuck to my guns and not ate it.
Especially since it was like..... two weeks oldish.

Wtf is wrong with me?
Rotfl.
Dummbbbbbbb.

So yeah I just like crapped out my kidney and etc.

Bossy!

I switched up the beat of the drum.

I'm in a confused state of mind. It's okay though. Keeps me busy.
I spoke to Elian for a while tonight. It was kind of awkward, but he wants to hang out.
Devin wants to "marry" me.
Chris says he's starting to "L word" me.
Caleb wants to hang out Saturday at Al Amir.

Woww right? Lol. I'm fucking amazing.

Now if only my life would get a little more exciting this week.
:\

And I was pissed at grandma Monday. I had to do her laundry.
I was also pissed at my mom. She brought fat water buffalo nigga over. I'm never going to talk to her the same again. And if I do, it'll be fake.
Cause she's being stupid, and I hate being around stupidity.
Only ten more months. I'm out of here!!!!!!

She Gets An Annoying Ringtone Because She's Annoying Me.

It's Mean but wtf ever.

I'm going to gooo seee Hellboy tonight :) W/ Renata Wendy and Ray.
Last week we saw Hancock.
Twas great.
It's nice to be around them because it helps to get my mind off things.
But just being around grandma doesn't help. All I do when I'm with her is complain about whats wrong and she pisses me off a lot.
It's whatever.
I'm ready and excited to leave.
:D hopefully I have as much fun as I did last weekend.

Tres Bien!

I refuse to be embarrassed about the mistakes... my faults.
:)I get it. I get it. I get it.

Tooo much! It's tooo much!
Too many people that I used to talk to are getting a hold of me! I don't like ittttt. It's weird!
It started with Devin last night!(Actually started with David and all the other kids on facebook) Messaging me on myspace! Then Lauren came over! And nowww Noah calls me!
WHAT THE FUCKKKKK?
Weirdddd.
These people better not disappoint me by disappearing again.
BLAH!
Well I disappeared from the people at schools that I used to go to. LoL and some of them don't even give a flying fuck.
Welllllll.
Idk.
DOOODOOO green cause my mom is being a BITCCHHHHHHHHH. Not even a BETCH. She's being a straight up bitch. She doesn't answer my phone calls. Nor does she reply to my text messages when she's with Mr. Fatass. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It's sooo annoying. So thank jeebus I'm getting out of here for the weekend.
LORDY.

I Am Sooo Bitter.

Haha jk.
Sooo I have to decide whether I wanna go play bingo at the casino with Grandma, or if I want to go see Hancock with Renata Wendy and Ray..


HM..
This might be interesting.

Watch Me Crank My Batman!

:)
I might be going to Winstar casino tomorrow to gamble!
I wanna play bingo!!! Wooowoooowoooooo yayyy.
:D

Oh Weee Oh Weee Oh Oh!

Wish We Were Older!

Haha love metrostation!

Ummmm this week... even though it's only Tuesday, has been pretty good. Last night.. or around 2 this morning, I went to chill with Cody. It was interesting. (Of course right?) Got a kiss on the cheek. Because taking it slow is good and it makes things more worth the wait... that's a good mindset. :)
I had my interview with Dave at Dominos yesterday. It went superrr well. He thought I had a really good look/sound on phone/sound in person for the job. It's just the hours that might keep me from getting it I suppose.
:\

I'll just keep my hopes high? I think that's best.

Adios

Ugh

Can I get a little warning?

Whatever. I'm out of here soon. Comeee onnn Dominosssss.

DAMM Nigga She Just Luvvv Me.

Lol. This song is retarded.

I CAN'T FIND MY DAMN BRACELETS. I don't know what I'll do without them. I guess I'll wear other ones until I find them.
:\/\/\/\/
Ugh.

Anyways I just got back from an extra short retreat with Renata and Gma at Renata's. Since Gma's staying there (the divorce)..
Yeah it was good to be away from here.
Interview with Dave from Dominos tomorrow at four!
Wish me luck!

Untraceable.

Was a great movie. That guy was wacko. Crazy. :)

Ummmm this week's been pretty sucktastic.

No job still.

:\

I've Seen Love Die

Way too many times.

Which has nothing to do with this post, but it just might be true for me.

Ughh. (Btw, no he didn't call back.)

My moms bringing someone over once again....and once again I'm not a happy camper.


And I don't have anyone to talk to.... or that will keep me out of the house for the night.
Times like this make me feel like I have no friends. And that's not a good feeling.

Oh well. Apparently this is going to teach me something? Orrr...... I don't know how the fuck this happening to me repetitively is helping me out. It's pretty dumb. Prettyfuckingdumb.


The fucking end. Bamf.

My Life Is A Walking Exagerration.

I put too many eggs (thoughts) in one basket (one guy) and it's gotten me absolutely noooowhereeee..

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BOOOOO.

Lol. Now let's see if he calls me back.

ARFJSNBJKSBF

BLAH.


:( I don't like the waiting game. Nor do I like being so bored that I have to think I'm crazy over this guy that I just met.
I mean I have nothing else to do...
Therefore I look through all his myspace comments and ex gf's comments.


Wowww I'm crazy
But they seemed crazIER.

Lol. Sooooo the next time I see him........ I want to just kind of be like
Soo I mean like whats up? Not like I'm being a speedy gonzales, but do you see this going anywhere? I don't want to get my hopes up lol.
I mean he's really cool so I think he'd understand?

But that might scare him off.
I don't know. I'm kind of a rusher. I rush into things? What if he's wondering the same though?

BSJDFJSBJWBJSJRJWBRJLR :O

Real Woman Needs a Real Man Here's Why.

Now a whole lotta woman needs a whole lot MOREEEE.

:D Big girls u are beautiful!

Haha idk I'm listening to MIKA.

Sooo last night... was pretty fun actually. I got in really late. And umm well... through the game of "I'm thinking...." and his texts last night...or this morning... I think he's got the preliminary signs of liking me?

I hope so, because he's like really cool.
But I've totally been over thinking things. I'm glad we didn't kiss though, unlike him. He said he was kicking himself on his way home because he didn't at least give me one on the cheek.
Hm.

We shall see.

AND NO ZUMIEZ CALL YET :((((((((:(((((:(

He's Way Too Good To Be True.

Nuff said?
Man. The past three-ish hours of my life have been really interesting. And all because of a really great boy?

Idk.

I want to keep my guard up. But.
Whatever, I'm thinking too much.

Adios

Oh I Will Not Be Ashamed!!

Be Ashamed!

Haha I love that commercial.

No ZUMIEZ call yet. :(
Umm today we celebrated Father's Day for Arthur. He and Gma came down. excitinggg.

And ummm Me and Cristian chilled outside Thursday night. Friday morning whatever. He kept joking around about coming over to my house. I'm sure he was joking. Idk.

Summer's fantastic. Me gustaaa me encanta!!!

Yesterday night, Eli came to get me. We were obviously going to drink and fuck. Dumbbbbb!
He got his fill and was ready to leave. Gross? Right. Ya I know whatever. I was like fineee I'll get into something fun for the night. I made him get me a burger and drop me off at my place. I didn't want to stay home because I didn't have to be inside. Sooo I dropped my bag off and went walking and got on my phone. Down the street in the complex there was these kids and I was like omg they're like younggg they go to clark or some shit like that. Wtf everrr. I was scared. Steve was like (he was on the phone with me) don't call them over they might rape u or something. Lol. They didn't. Anyways yeaaah they were cool and I really LIKED the half white half asian kid.
:( Idk if he liked me though.
Oh well !:)

Talk To Me!

Dance With Me!

Haha I'm totally enjoying this summer. Today, Breanne, Viet, Emily and Emily's sister Allison went to Collin Creek to job search and shoppp. And eat.
It wasooooooo enjoyable. I had tons of fun. They're such great people.
This guy from Zumiez (the skater people store to shop in) kind of like made conversation with me and Viet when we went up to pay for her tote, and I thought he was hot so I was like really chill about it, and Breanne and Emily come up and Breanne says I want an application! Lol (just like what I did at Earthbound basically). And he asks if I want one and I'm like.... "ehhhhh...IDK!!! yes!" Haha. So I turned in an application to Zumiez!
And he said he would call and set up an interview time and etc.
:) I'm excited! Hopefully I get it. Unless Briana's terrible job getting skills are rubbing off on me. But I totally think I made a good impression, he was digging me ya know!!!!??!?!!??!?
:D I'm sooo excited about life right now. It's super exciting. :)

OKAY!
Now about yesterday. I was really mad because my mom brought some random guy over. It just pisssed me the fuck off like usual. SO I wanted to leave, and Briana and Leah were going to hang out, like they have been doing, practically all summer (what the fuck ever is what I say haha). And I asked to be invited since I haven't been invited like.... ever. And I went.
Which was fun, but on the downside, like.... was bad at the end because it was BRIANA'S decision to go to Janet's house. Janet ALWAYS basically verbally tortures her about things that I feel strongly about too. Lol SO what the fuck did she expect to happen? She got her damn feelings hurt. Thats her fucking fault.
The end.

Anyways my summer's going great! I just need this job. Really really bad. I'm praying!

I Can Feel The Presurreeee.

Summerrrr's been great so far!

Can't wait to see what else is in store for me!
Me, Britany, Steve, and Steve went to Jasmine's! The hookah bar! It was funnnnnn. :)
And we had a lot of drama b/t Sasha and Sasha's boyfriend's friend. :(
Oh well!
lol I had funn.

But damn those Mexicans.

Happy Birthday!

Briana's birthday was great.
We started talking again yesterday.
:)

Laugh Out Loud.

Shout it out!

Yeah. This week has been incredibly stressful.
-English Project Presentations
-Trying to get final grades up
-Telling Briana I'm not going to her birthday activities (for tomorrow)

Well...
That last one was her fault.
She shouldn't have invited Dominique Turner. She knows me and him don't get along, and she should have been a good person and just not invited him. I don't understand how he's such an amazing person that she needs to invite him to her birthday stuff.
I just didn't get it.
So I spoke to my grandmother. And I told her, I don't think I'm going to go. And I let her know not to make me feel guilty ("I thought you both cared about me enough to get over it") because I would've thought she cared enough about me to not invite him. Two wrongs don't make a right, but I can't let her keep trotting over my feelings like that. It's just not right, and like Camie and Mario's relationship, it's a self-destructing one. I have noo problem admitting that because I know it's true.
So booyah.

Yeah, andddd. Tuesday in Sociology, we're having a party for Miranda's birthday. WTF. "That's the only excuse I can think of..." What the fuckkkk ever Mr. Lawton. You know you totally just want to make Miranda think you're a fucking god since you have an inappropriate crush on her. Wtfffffever. That pissed me off, because my birthday was this semester and I didn't get a damn party. I don't even think I got a song. UGH.

Oh. And my period's late.
:\

Alrightyy.

This weekend was totally blah.
Thank god my groupmates are definitely amazingly funny/fun whatever.
Yesterday I was at Katie's house at 12 til about 530. Today I was there from 11 to about 4.
Wowww right?
Yup.
And Friday night Eli said he liked me or whatever.... wtf ever.
That bitch doesn't know what the fuck he wants.

Pissing me the hell off.
Ugh.

Oh Yes Oh Yes!

We both reached for the gun!

Haha I love Chicago!
:)

We Drink!

At my house. In the middle of the night.
:)

And then I have to go to Katie's house at 12 tomorrow.
:\

It's My Life

:\
And it's driving me fucking nuts. Man.

I'm over people.

Haha! A Week Later!

This weekend didn't turn out nearly as well as the last one.
All of Lauren's plans (shit) were falling through and I was like wtf. Last weekend, I was basically the fun maker and all of the stuff I decided on worked out great.
I threw a fucking fit last night because I can apparently be a drunken crier or whatever.
It was just a bunch of shit.
SHITSHITSHITTY SHIT motherfucker.


Next weekend I can't have her over. I need a Lauren-less weekend. Love her to death, but seriously- yo.

Adios.

ShakeShake!

Will you move it like that?
CMonnn
Shake shake shake shake shake shake shakeit!

Soo this weekend was tootttalllyyy.Wowwww.
Well Saturday anyways.
First of all.
Dustin!
Ohhh lordy.
He was short, muscular and extremely scary looking.
Second.
The guys at Subway: Carlos and Cristian.
Yeaaah well Cristian's really sweet and shy seeming. Carlos was like obsessed with Lauren. :)
I was pretty entertained. She wanted to leave. We stayed there until they got off and Cristian drove us to meet up with Carlos' cousin and I didn't want to just leave Cristian there... but he had to go home. His parents are strict or something. Soo I got his number.. aand I told him to call me.
He probably won't though. I'm going to wait until next weekend to see if he will actually call.
He's a virgin. LOL.
Third!
Carlos and his cousin were like soooooo where are we goinggg? Lauren wanted to go see her friend from Richardson area. So we did. I was fucking bored as shit and JD and his friends were calling and stuff.
Andd we came back over here and Carlos and his cousin bought Lauren her favorite drinks. And they bought some other shit cause I just wanted a Corona. Haha wtf. And we went to his cousin's house. We drankkkk. It was funnn.
JD and his friend Kirk were calling and we had to get home to meet them.
Fourth::::
My phone died.
And when we got to my house my mom came outside.
Lol and I'm like fucking tipssyyyyyyyyy.
Haha funny right?
I can totally act sober!
:D
And I got into an argument withh my mom. And now Idthink she likes Lauren but WTF ever!!! I love Lauren to fucking death!
:) She's number three on my top fourrr.
:D
Mann I haven't had a night like that in a LONGGG ass while.
Carlos and his cousin want me to go with them to 2009.
:\\
Lauren doesn't want to go though.
hahahahahha. We'll see.


ADIOSSSS MUAH.

My Family isn't into giving people things.

I Wish I had a Car.
I know my mom would if she could afford it... but she can't.
Haha.
:(

Story

Your Face Is Pastyyyy.

Haha last night totally didn't happen.
And Frank is pissing me off today.
He'd better say something really sweet to me the next time I actually answer the phone.
And Elian called yesterday, he wanted to come over.
I said maybe. I never called him back. Lol maybe he's figured out I'm not exactly in a big hurry to see him again, unles he's going to smash and dash. Which in our current status, isn't bad.
:)
ADios

Foundations

"Why don't you just have another beer then?"
Haha. I love Kate Nash!
Soo I started talking to this really awesome guy, Dustin. He's not the most attractive guy in the world, but he's pretty nice to talk to!
Thenn Dayton.
He wants to see me tonight? I think.. anyway. Once I rethink it, I don't think I want to see him, because I'm not exactly sure of what's going to happen. But then again, I didn't know what was going to happen Sunday either. And I don't know whether I want a relationship either. It would probably just become a larrgeeeee pain in my ass.
I guess I'll be seeing what happens tonight!
Luck?
Yupppp. :D

Soooo Dayton..

Idk. Yeah I've got something for him.

But I don't know if he feels the same way.
I know he's into me.. like because I'm pretty and etc. But Idk if he'd want to go out with me.

I just wanna know. Otherwise I'm wasting my time.

Kate Nash

I'm checking her out to see if she has good songs.
I think she's a winner!
:D

I'm really tired, but I refuse to sleep without showering and annotating/reading Moby Dick.
Graycee and Gretchen got into a big fight today. :( I know it's probably stressful for the both of them... but Graycee should stop being such a big baby about her territory.
We're keeping Gretchen until Aunt Renata gets her new apartment liveable since the tornado hit her apartment building.
:\
Yeah it really sucks, but people are sending money her way, and stuff like that.
:) She's okay and that's good.


Start of a Good week.

Emergency...Emergency!

Emergency.

I apologized to Abby. For lashing out. But I stood my ground about her ignoring me. I told her I don't like it, and it upset me.
I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want it to be over?

Whateverr.

Touch My Body!

Oh yeah!
Haha.
Soooo void that last post. He msged me last night on Yahoo like maybe half an hour later. Wtf right? Haha yeah.
Oh well.
But yeah his texts were a little weird sooo I guess.........
Whateva.

You Should Read My Mind.

Well. I'm pretty bummed from this whole damn weekend.
::::
Friday-
Briana got me all excited because she basically begged me to go down to Dallas with her to see Jeremy. I said yes. Then she changed her mind. I was mad because I had nothing else to do. So I called that pale, white, glasses wearing fellow, Jeremy, and we decided we'd hang out for the night.
Things went fairly well. I was thoroughly entertained and expected him to call and everything......
Saturday-
No call from Jeremy, no answer either. I wasn't TOO bummed because I still had Aaron (UNT) and Corey (Soldier). And Jeremy wasn't even cute, so I let it slide. In the evening, I really wanted to leave and have something to do. But I didn't have anyone to go anywhere with, so I spoke to Aaron for a good hour or so and spoke to Corey for a reallyyyy longggg time. I mean I even know he got drunk in intervals of time. The last time I spoke to him was like right before he started snoring in my ear at four something in the morning. I figured he'd text me in the morning (real morning) to apolgize, etc.
Today (Sunday)- Corey didn't text, won't answer my texts, nor my phone call.

Wtf? Why the hell do things like this always happen to me? A fucking ugly guy decided he doesn't like me, and a freakin hot guy just ditches me out of the blue?
If that doesn't mean my life sucks sometimes, idk what does.

Lalalaldeeelaaa

Fallacio! Fallacio!
Haha.
I'm tired.
But I need to tell what happened to my gma.
She was driving drunk and had an accident in the Caddy. Went to the hospital, had no blood pressure medicine. Jail for the night.
Arthur bailed her out this morning. I spoke to her a couple hours ago. She said she made dumb decisions... which I didn't disagree to. I just hope she feels better.

Lalalaldeeelaaa

Fallacio! Fallacio!
Haha.
I'm tired.
But I need to tell what happened to my gma.
She was driving drunk and had an accident in the Caddy. Went to the hospital, had no blood pressure medicine. Jail for the night.
Arthur bailed her out this morning. I spoke to her a couple hours ago. She said she made dumb decisions... which I didn't disagree to. I just hope she feels better.

Am I Fucking Crazy?

Or do I have major anger problems?

[Posted and then deleted from a myspace bulletin]

Maybe I overreacted by yelling (or raising my voice or whatever) at Michael Blanton today, but I refuse to just let some random ass guy who's a total asshole and big bitch ass baby let me feel bad about myself (which he tries to do on an almost daily basis) or my project (today).Which is why I make this bulletin.I let him know what I thought of him.:DJustification's a mofo biaatch.

Resort

Was nice.
Rdy to go home though. Hopefully tomorrow.

AYYYYYYE

Wtf

I give up on trying to get back with him.
I'm gonna string his ass along, make him think I'm gonna take him back,
and then drop him as soon as I get a new one.

Soooo..
I need a boyfriend that's going to be good to me.
Amen.

I'M Tired.

The end.

Ah I'm NOT Doing Well.

He just had to ruin my boring Saturday-Sunday.
Elian texted me to "get over it". And I got all riled up. It just upsets me how much guys get over on me and I don't get that thats all they will ever want with me. I'm so fucking dumb. Srsly.

:)

BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!

Damn Girlll

Been around the world.... seen a million girls.

This weekend has been ups and downs. But today's been totally down.
I just don't feel like 100%.

Like I shouldn't feel unhappy, but I am. I need to get out of this relationship. I don't think I need the uncertainty... because it doesn't work out positively for me, besides for the sex. Which is all he gets out of it. And the sex makes me thinks he's really in it for the long haul or whatever. And I'm dumb, but not too dumb if I at least realize that I'm probably being used.

And these feelings are up this weekend because it's not the first that he's up and damn disappeared for days.
So I kind of give up. Of course, I won't know if I'm really going to give up until I speak to him.. but..
Yeah.

Staying!

This weekend is supposed to be amazing.
Idk if it will be! But I'm sure gonna try!

Ending Today=Better Than Weekend.

Fasho.

I'm tired, but I've gotta study vocab and I wish I could see my huny bear.
:(

Count to Ten...

Today was a really bad day.

Like everytime I think about what happened, I kind of want to cry.
Me and Briana's friendship is probably never going to be the same.


So oh well. I don't know what else I can do.

That Kinzell kid was getting all agitated because she brought me, and I answered him back and he just got more angry from there. The more angry he got, the more I got and he kept cursing me out... calling me a "bitch" and a "hoe".
She just sat there and once asked him to stop.

Wtf? If some guy I liked, or even just some random person we were with started getting pissed with her I'd shut that person up. Shut the fuck up or get the hell out of my car.

So I don't really know what to do.
Oh well I guess?

Bye.

Love Pull Your Sari Down

I will pull your tangles out.

I'm mad. I'm really craving alcohol... and my mom said no.
:(!

This weekend's going to suck as much as the rest of my weekends have this month aren't they?


Yes, It Is.

I Hate That Stupid Old Pickup Truck; You Never Let Me Drive

You redneck heartbreak who's really bad at at lying.

Haha I love that girll... I forget her name. She's my callertone. Haha.

Soooo yeah I saw Eli for the first time in over a week yesterday. It was pretty swell. I guess.
Yeah I don't have anything else to say so I'm going to go try dying these extensions and if that doesn't work I'll just perm my hair.

:)

Room Spillin In

And I wake up alone.
I'm actually not sad. I'd feel a lot better if my head wasn't aching! Mrs. Thompson says it's probably from like caffeine withdrawals basically. I definitely wouldn't doubt iit. I don't drink dr pepper as often as usually...
Yup.
:/

Hmm Eli?
Yes.
Well we spoke yesterday because I suggested that it was important. Apparently he got a little scared. Haha. I was getting pissed because I called him and he didn't answer but he did call back. I told him I was getting frustrated and didn't know what to do. He explained that he's been really tired and trying to get over his "Flu". Idk about it. Don't really care anymore. I'm just not letting myself get too upset about anything.

Don't really wanna talk about Briana moving either.

Soo yeah!

Last Week Was Horrible.

I mean.. I know I was walking around pretending like everything was fine, but as soon as I realized I was playing myself, things went waaaay downhill.

I mean I freakin cried on Valentine's Day! Who does that??? Well I did.
It was pretty bad.

And Briana's mad at the whole Elian subject because she doesn't think he's worth my time. But I mean I do like him even though I wish I could switch out his actions for someone else's. I don't know who's.. but someone who actually does things for me.. and makes an effort in our relationship, instead of just coasting as if "she'll be just fine". That she is me, and No. I'm not fine. Mhm.
I called him Friday since I hadn't heard from him, and he hadn't called like he said he would later on Valentine's Night when he "got back from dinner with his mother". He didn't answer. I think I called twice.. once when me and Briana were around Stonebriar, and once in the car. Both I got no answer. I had Briana call from her phone at Stonebriar and GUESS WHAT? He answered. Haha that's horrible! I had her hangup though. And I had her do it again when we were out near Taco Cabana and Starbucks, and she was like asking him questions and I was like "tell him I said hey". Haha and she said, "Ohh hey, your GIRLFRIEND says hey." Haha. He was like What? I thought it was hilariously sad. Briana was pissed. And I spoke to him and was pretty much blowing him off (which of course, was a front for me). I was just pretty much over him playing around and I said I guess I would call him later. He kept asking if I was mad. "You're mad at me aren't you?" "You never believe me."

What the fuck? He gives me these insane lies that he expects me to believe and then I do..
Because I'm just like almost every woman I know. I can't just drop someone I have feelings for until I'm seriously over and done with it.

And I'm not ready to be over and done with him.
So I really don't know what to do. Because I know the next time I speak to him, he's going to sweet talking me with the "I miss yous" and "I wish I was there with yous" and I'm going to take the bait like those dumbass fish I used to catch when I was fourteen.
And complaining about it isn't doing much good. It just relieves me a little bit that I'm acknowledging these facts.

So, please god, let me have a good week?
:)

I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

:(

MMHM!

Everything's going good.. In my circle!
Besides that Briana says she's lost her ... well idk what she called it but she like pretty much lost her "groove". She can't get guys that she messes around with to stick around. Haha.
Anddd... Jamie and her guy broke up.
:(

Me and Elian are going strong.
:)

Amor Mio!

Labios compartidos!!
Haha....

Soo tonight me, Briana, Jay, and Tashia went to The Magic Time Machine for dinner and ate and etc. We were pretending like it was my birthday and it was fun. Jay was kind of an asshole, but I didn't expect anything different! :)
Last night my mom woke up. Haha I was scared as shit.
But otherwise, me and Eli are doing fairly well. I mean... yeah I guess. We don't really do anything besides have sex, talk, and watch tv......
Soo jahhh man. I mean I can't complain. At least until after Valentine's Day.
:P

Anyways.. I'm tired sooo adios!

Bed!

Bed,,,, bed.
Built a wall of books b/t us in our bed.
I JUST WANT BACK IN YOUR HEADD.

Wowwww me and Elian are still together! Wowwww right? I'm totally amazed too. Briana and Jeremy got back together for like... basically a week? Maybe almost two weeks? It was pointless and a waste of both of their time. I don't mean to be like.. well idk.
Anywaysss.

I'm going to get him to take me someplace in the next week or so. I mean Valentine's Day isss coming up! I really don't want to be disappointed or anything.. so yeah.

We'll see? Anyways this week of school is totally unnecessary. So mmmyeah!
BTW: I'm a freakin beast. Last night I had some homework, I took my hair down AND spent time with Eli.

Damnn I'm amazing.

Ugh.

What?

Whatever. I'm in the worst mood. EVERRRR. I swear its the birth control pills. My mood keeps switching from extremely irritable to weirdly happy.

And Elian isn't making it any better. He doesn't answer my texts anymore, and he doesn't answer when I call (not like I call much).....
Maybe he needs a dose of his own damn medicine..

If My Man Was Fighting

Some unholy war.


Idk what I'd do haha. Hmm so I'm going to train myself to have him not come over so often. Or at least if he comes over, not to have sex with him... because he's going to get bored with me.
And I'll explain that to him tonight.
When he comes over. Hahaha. Gosh I need to really work on that because I want our relationship to have real longevity! Like my first real relationship!

Forreals yo.
Well waayyy. School was bunk. Like I thought. I'll actually try to look nice though tomorrow. Anyways.. I'm going to go read and then discreetly get ready.
:) Adios

"he said lets leave this between you and me"

I Don't Need School Tomorrow

I mean cmon do I?

Forreal. Gimme a break.
Thank god for February 11th.

Except that I'll have a doctors appointment?

Goin steady.

I Wonder If You're Looking Up

"From underneath someone who is... everything that I'm not."

OMGsh this week SUCKED. I mean work work work! Thats all I did! And well okay. Me and Elian are boyfriend and girlfriend. Briana think's he's a clinger. I think its adorable... like the way he acts and everything. Idk. Me gusta.
SUPERBOWLNEXTWEEKEND!
I'm excited. I loveee footballl love it love it love it. Forreals.

Anyways. I guess I'd better continue waiting for him to eventually get over here?
Adios.

We Decide To Go Out Walking

Hope time, that we're talking.
You keep me on my toes..
Where did the time go?

Sooo Saturday was great. I mean yess... I did kind of let us go too far, but I was really into Elian. I liked him a lot. And he's a great sexer. Like.....
THE BEST EVER
Perhaps.
Yes. Soo. We drank. I did like five shots and wasn't completely wasted... but I was pretty damn wasted. I remember things though! I just kind of wish I hadn't have had sex with him because I want us to be together and have sex... you know? Like.. uncommited sex isn't for me anymore. So.... I'm not having sex with him again until I'm his girlfriend. And if he doesn't like that... well..

Oh well I guess? That would totally be his loss. I'd be sad, but I can't like put my morals down the toilet just because he doesn't want to commit to me.
That's me being a little smarter about my choices... Except afterwards.. because apparently he was asking me to be his girlfriend Saturday night (he spoke to Briana). But Sunday when he was over here, I was just trying ot make sure, you know? And idk... it just didn't seem right?
Idk. Anyways Jamie says I need to make sure.. of like where we stand. So I will.

Adios!

I'll Only Get Out For You

Haha... correction!



Tonight's on.
He was at football practice.
:)

Freaking Outtt!

Elian's phone is turned off. Not like... cut off not like the service is off..
He's got the phone actually turned off...


I'm praying he's just sleeping? I mean he wouldn't just.... like avoid cancelling with me for tonight by turning his phone off.. would he?
That'd be fucked up.

Love .... Is Supposed To Be A Losing Hand?

Self professed.... profound.
I know you're a gambling man.....
Love...... is a losing hand...

I suppose. My week has absolutely SUCKED up to Thursday afternoon. I mean.. yeah I got into an argument with my mom yesterday about her being hardheaded and wanting to WALK all the way to 75. I said it was waaaay too cold. And that it's not as if I'm not sick at all. So then I called this cab thing and then all of a sudden, LaToya called and wanted to take us to we made a day of it.
Starting with IHOP. Haha.
Sooo my mom's a doll. She paid for my glasses, bought me a cellphone and has given me like sixty bucks. Twenty of which I spent last night. Briana didn't bring adequate money with her to paid for her movie. I ended up paying for the both of us... And its a lot more expensive than going on a Tuesday afternoon.

I'm kind of nervous for tonight though. It's like a total excited nervous though. I really enjoyed Elian's company Thursday night, so it should be pretty nice. I mean I get to get out of the house. Be with a really HOT guy who seems to like me... and drink. So of course it should be cool. I just really hope he doesn't try anything that will tarnish my current views of him. I mean... Thursday, he didn't try anything, I just didn't want to kiss him that much since we don't really know each other that well.
Haha... I kinda feel bad too, because he's paying for the majority of everything. I only have like almost $40 left. Lol.
But yeah, he totally doesn't have to get anything really hard. I mean Mikes Hard Lemonade and Smirnoff would do me in, so it doesn't really matter. Haha drinks are drinks.

THANK GOD ITS THE WEEKEND.
[a four day weekend!]

No Matter Which Way You Go

I was walking with a ghost. I said pleasseee.. Please don't insist.

:)
I love tegan and sara.


Ughh bus tomorrow?

Yay.
Umm yeah I'm sick. From Briana! It's not a happy time.. but I'm making the best of it!
This weekend? Elian and alcohol? Hopefully good times. I'm hoping this works out well.
:)

I know I know I know

You'll always love me too....
It's me and You.


I had the weirdest dream. I was like in love with this boy, and we couldn't compromise on things or something like that.. I wanted my way in everything, and we broke up and it was horrible.

I think before we "broke up" things were good though. Really cute!

Anyways my weeks really sucking. I missed the bus today, and I had an english essay to write for my exam. Soooo I really don't know what I'm going to do.
I'll figure it out I suppose.

Yeah!!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah...
YEAH.
Haha that was ghey.


Week's SUCKED. This week has been atrocious. Seriously. Haha but... apparently, this guy, Elian, wants to hang out over her next Friday.

Hmmm.. let's see me explain that to mom. Hopefully she works late sooooo yeah. I'll wait til Wednesday I guess. I'm really not sure how that's going to turn out.

Anyways.... Schoooll tomorrow. Back again. Omg I do not want to go. It's gayy. But my fortune cookie said that I will have good luck in traveling to the east.
UMMM where do I go to school? EASTTTSIIIDEEE
hahaha awesome.
Wonder what that goodluck'll be?
I'm washing clothes... I'm gnna nap.
Adiosss

La Guerra

Haha I won't type any lyrics for this song. It's in spanish and I don't really know them very well.

This year is going to be my year of experimentation. I'm going to have as much fun as I possibly can, while trying to maintain the morals that I DO have.

It's a whole new year! I'm so excited for what's to come!!!!
Forreals homie.

Goals:::::
-Concert
-Fashion
-University [find out, apply, etc]
-Become more at one with myself
-Become more at one with friends, family
-Keep at least a 3.5 GPA
-Be nicer, but not passive
-Meet a lot of new, cool people
-Try new things
-Finally get a new computer
-Explore my sexuality
-Get my lip pierced
-Date the Races [white, black, hispanic]
-Like my boobs

-AND NUMBER ONE [CAR!!!!!!]