Friday, February 23, 2007

Espera



I just need to reassure I'm not giving in to pressure everytime something happens to me. Well... I know that I do, but I just need to lie to myself to get myself to believe I'm not "such a sucker for a sweet talker".
By the way, the photo is to remind myself that no matter how many people say I'm "not their type" or that I'm "not pretty", their minds are so utterly warped by televised views of how people should look that it doesn't even matter anymore how much I feel makeup I feel like I should wear (I DO LOVE MAKEUP THOUGH AND I WONT STOP WEARING IT FOR ANYONE!!!), or how much weight I should lose (I'm happy with my weight, get over it), I'll be happier without the people (guys especially) who don't accept me for my faults, etc.
I'm not sure if that made sense... but I feel fine about it.
Sooooo.
My day was actually really good. But (uh ohhh "BUT" lol) I got pretty pissy when I got home. Unless the past couple days when I've been kind of pissy feeling at school and then come home and feel great.
But yeaaah.
I'm ready to be done with high school haha. I want to "get away" and find my calling. Live my life ya know. (Good 'ole American Eagle)
I wish my mom weren't so opposed to me getting a GED and stuff. But I know I could always run off to Mexico and not be found.. and just like appear back here one day to let them (family) know I'm alright. But I don't wouldn't want to hurt my family that much. That's waaay to much for me.
I spent like two hours talking to some guy in NY last night. He kinda scared me. His laugh was absolutely obnoxious. I don't know if I'd be able to listen to that every other night. Lol. It's pretty sad.
Anyways I'm gona get going.
Guys and Dolls tomorrow afternoon.

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