First and Foremost

I totally don't want my mother reading this. I bet I'll pour my whole heart into it and I don't want her being surprised into a heart attack or anything.

So why'd I get this?

It's easier than keeping a paper one.

- I type fast than I write

- Mother can find the written one easier [and im tired of hiding it]

So today----

School of course was fine I guess.

Actually it didn't even go that easily. I had to memorize a sheet of sentences and questions that I had to present in front of the class that I just wrote yesterday. I hate memorizing things. It makes me spaztic. Being a sophomore with the workload of a grown man doesn't help either. I'm not totally saying that I have the heaviest workload out of all of my classmates (that'd be a complete lie I'm about in the middle) but recently it's gotten worse and it's pretty much all my fault.

Sex is not for teenagers. I mean yeah it feels great and everything but then the reprecussions are horrible. The possibility of maybe being pregnant depending on the situation and an MIA period doesn't make anything better. But eleven pregnancy tests say no. I'm having a blood test done next Thursday to make sure though. The sad thing is I was using condoms and I still freak out. I don't even want the idea of anything going in there ever again.

Anyways... yeah that doesn't make all the school work go away, or any lighter. It makes everything heavier on my plate and like I said, it's all my fault.

:) I'm sooo smart aren't I?

Everytime I try explaining to my boyfriend the reasons why I pretty much want to abstain from sex for the rest of my life (Me and kids don't mix), he kind of "doesn't hear me". It's kind of funny because I see the look in his eyes when he's ready. He SOOO determined. It's almost hilarious, but of course I don't laugh. Maybe it's just the stereotype but maybe I should stay away from latin guys? I mean almost every one that I know or have dated really enjoy sex. Talking about it, doing it, thinking about it, imagining it. Whatever. They seem to love it. Except for one of my ex's. He told me I didn't have to if I wasn't ready. So it's not a surprise I'm not over him. <<<<--- That's probably the reason I feel the need to "give myself up" almost every time I am with my current boyfriend. I don't feel he'll love me the same or something.

That's an interesting concept. A really sad one too.

Anyways... Pretty good for a first post!
Peace Out Homes